Fashion: Ninja style

There are those that have asked for a post on fashion. Since the only fashion I can post on is ninja fashion, here we go.

1. Wear black

Camouflage does not work as well at night. Unless the moon is really bright. And you should ask yourself what are you doing sneaking around vandalizing property on a moonlit night. Everyone knows you wait for a darker night.

2. Match your shades of black

Black can come in different shades. Dark black, charcoal, 100,000 mile motor oil, Michael Jackson (actually changes colors from dark to light like the old hypercolor shirts), black forest, black forest at night, etc. If you are not careful with your choices of black, you will be seen as you scale a building to steal the latest Versace designs. Remember, black is not a lack of color but the combination of all colors, so if the mix of colors isn't equal, you can end up with black forest instead of black forest at night.

3. Accessories

Always important. The naginta is often unnecessary, merely slowing down a mission. Best to always have caltrops, throwing stars, climbing shoes and gloves, a breathing straw made to look like a reed, smoke bombs, collapsible grappling hook, mission specific equipment, and animal crackers.

4. Don't save money on a balaclava

There are areas where you can save a few dollars. Your balaclava (or ninja mask if you enjoy being so yesterday) needs to conceal your identity, instill fear in your enemies, yet wick away moisture and breathe so you don't have to scratch your head. You also want the fabric on the side of your eyes to be tight to the side of your head. A small pucker in the fabric can reduce peripheral visibility by as much as 8.9% in each eye. That could mean be the difference between a stolen sign and jail time.

5. Be confident

No matter how well designed your outfit is or how good it looks, it doesn't mean much if you don't exude confidence. Ninjas must instill fear in their opponent so they can escape with whatever items we have been hired to re appropriate. Lack of confidence can lead to poor posture, and poor posture can lead to noise. Slumping shoulders and a bent over posture can cause even the stealthiest ninja to make as much noise as a cat on carpet. Not good. Remember, you are a ninja. Act like it.